In today’s society, mothers navigate a challenging landscape, rife with societal expectations perpetrated by systems poised for their downfall. Dr. Simone Kolysh, as a life coach acquainted with these hurdles both in their personal and professional lives, explores motherhood amidst career ambitions and personal development with their clients. Their own narrative sheds light on these issues, because they are a mother of 4, always trying to balance work and life.
Their journey began prior to college as they worked at a lab under Dr. Michl, conducting pancreatic cancer research. Then, as a pre-med student at NYU, they were interested in becoming a physician, but then also got married and became pregnant with their first child. It was then they realized that people thought pregnancy a death knell of career ambitions. Dr. Kolysh’ resilience was further put to the test through their Masters in Public Health program while expecting a second child, and later, as they navigated a PhD program in Sociology, where financial obligations overshadowed academic endeavors. Each phase starkly highlighted the so-called ‘baby penalty’ – the career setback for choosing to procreate.
Dr. Kolysh points out that this penalty is a reflection of broader societal shortcomings, with educational and professional infrastructures largely designed for men or those unburdened by caregiving responsibilities. Whereas fathers might find academia’s paternity leave beneficial for productivity, mothers are left to juggle their careers with the relentless demands of domestic life, often unsupported. Inevitably, this leads mothers into burnout and while many moms experience burnout, for autistic moms, for example, getting out of burnout would take many more years.
Their interactions with exhausted mothers have brought to light recurring themes: feelings of inadequacy, undiagnosed neurodivergence, and auto-immune issues stemming from unacknowledged trauma and systemic injustice. These aren’t merely personal failings but indicators of deeper societal inequities.
Their path – from a disillusioned medical aspirant critical of healthcare practices towards intersex individuals, to an advocate for education on sex, gender, and sexuality; from confronting injustices in cancer care to experiencing obstetric violence – reflects both hardship and enlightenment. As an immigrant, lesbian, non-binary, multiply disabled, and autistic individual, their life experiences have not only shaped their perspectives but also enhanced their capacity for profound empathy in their life coaching role.
In addressing these multifaceted challenges, Defiant Life Coaching is envisioned not merely as an intervention but as a haven. Their coaching philosophy is driven by more than empowerment; it’s about reclamation – asserting control over one’s life story against societal pressures to conform to narrow roles, whether at home or at work.
Their manifesto, aimed at assisting many women in shedding the burdens of people-pleasing and dependency, emphasizes empowerment and autonomy. Their holistic yet practical approach acknowledges the interconnectedness of systemic barriers, advocating for fair reproductive rights and challenging stigmas against single parenting or escaping abusive relationships. Empowerment, to them, means facilitating difficult choices based on self-respect and dignity. Every day, Dr. Kolysh helps mothers demand their needs be met, instead of suffering through selflessness.
Through platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and their website, they aim to foster communities for open dialogues on these critical issues.
For them, the question “Can We Have It All?” transcends personal introspection, echoing a call for systemic change – an acknowledgment that societal structures must adapt to evolving family dynamics. At Defiant Life Coaching, they offer not solutions but guidance, illuminating a path to understanding that, despite even if society fails to support mothers, they provide the validation and empowerment so desperately sought by moms who deserve the world.
Published by: Martin De Juan
